Learning from Our Mistakes
We all have to start somewhere. Whether it’s tackling a new task, learning a skill, or venturing into an entirely different pursuit, we inevitably open ourselves up to failure. There’s the risk of wasting time, squandering resources, and even facing criticism or ridicule from others. It begs the question: is it worth it? Is taking that risk worth the potential failure?
The answer, unequivocally, is yes. Every time you challenge yourself to do something new, you are opening a path to growth, improvement, and ultimately mastery. Most of us know, deep down, that excellence is a worthy pursuit. We applaud those who have achieved it, even if we haven’t dared to reach for it ourselves. And if you’ve ever pursued excellence, even a little, that achievement is worth celebrating—self-applause is not only warranted, but it’s a step toward recognising your progress.
Nature’s Indifference to Mediocrity
The natural world is merciless when it comes to mediocrity. Time erases mediocrity from existence, as it holds no place in the grand scheme of survival and evolution. As British zoologist Ray Lankester once noted, species that fail to adapt are inevitably driven to extinction. In the same way, individuals who fail to push themselves towards growth will remain stagnant, blending into the background until they are forgotten.
If you do not attempt something new, you are condemning yourself to mediocrity. By standing still, refusing to evolve, and avoiding risks, you deny yourself the chance to rise above the ordinary. However, if you dare to step outside your comfort zone, to try and fail, you allow yourself to improve. Each failure offers a lesson, a chance to refine your technique, knowledge, and understanding. Standing still, on the other hand, guarantees that you’ll fade into irrelevance, like white noise in the vastness of the universe.
Distraction in the Modern World
The modern world offers plenty of ways to avoid failure. It’s easier than ever to distract ourselves with entertainment, endless streams of information, and superficial activities that provide temporary gratification but no lasting value. Whether it’s binging TV series, mindlessly scrolling through social media, or engaging in political tribalism, there are countless “bread and circuses” to keep us from facing the discomfort of failure.
Even global crises, such as the recent COVID-19 pandemic, offer an excuse to avoid trying new things. The constant barrage of conflicting information, restrictions, and uncertainty can make it seem as though pursuing personal growth is simply too risky. But even in the face of these obstacles, the choice to pursue the new remains within your power. You have the ability to rise above distraction, embrace failure, and in doing so, elevate your existence.
The Path to Success is Littered with Failure
Let me confess something—I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes, and I still loathe failing. Growing up, I was never praised for my failures; in fact, they were met with scorn and disapproval. Like many people, I couldn’t fathom how failure could be a positive thing. Even now, I’m sceptical of the modern tendency to celebrate failure, as if it’s something we should actively seek out. However, while I may not embrace the “cult of failure,” I do believe strongly in the value of learning from our mistakes and adopting a growth mindset.
In most cases, failure is something we fear instinctively. We worry about what others will think, about the consequences, or even about our own self-worth. These fears can range from rational to utterly irrational, but regardless, they often prevent us from taking the risks that lead to success. Organisations often encourage fearlessness as a way to drive innovation and action. They want to normalise failure, so people aren’t afraid to take the necessary risks.
Some companies go so far as to reward fearlessness, looking for employees who are willing to take bold actions, knowing that success often follows a string of failures. However, we must be cautious of survivorship bias—the idea that only the successful stories are told, obscuring the countless others who tried and failed, their risks never paying off.
Defining Failure
We need a more nuanced way of discussing failure. The word itself carries such negative connotations that it can be difficult to separate small, inconsequential failures from larger, more impactful ones. There’s a big difference between burning dinner and losing a fortune in a failed business venture.
Consider something as simple as being late to a meeting. When others are late, we might judge them harshly, assuming they didn’t plan well enough or didn’t care. But when we are late, we’re much more likely to blame external factors—traffic, unexpected delays, or bad luck. We tend not to classify our own tardiness as a failure, instead attributing it to circumstances beyond our control.
Our tolerance for failure also varies by context. We don’t expect athletes to score every goal or win every match. But when it comes to business leaders or politicians, we’re far less forgiving of their mistakes. Yet failure is inevitable in any field that requires risk-taking.
Intelligent Failures: A Framework for Growth
Not all failures are created equal. Some failures, particularly those that arise from well-considered risks, can be incredibly valuable. These are what psychologist Amy Edmondson calls “intelligent failures.” They have four key attributes:
- Trying Something New: The failure occurs because you are stepping into uncharted territory, facing uncertainty and taking a risk.
- Pursuing a Meaningful Goal: The risk is taken in pursuit of something valuable, whether personal or professional.
- Preparation: You’ve done your homework, laid the groundwork, and put forth a reasonable hypothesis. The failure isn’t due to lack of effort or planning.
- Minimising Costs: You’ve limited your investment in the initial stages, so that the failure doesn’t cost you everything. You’re engaging in trial and error, not gambling everything on a single outcome.
The idea of intelligent failure isn’t new—Thomas Edison famously claimed that he never failed, but simply found 10,000 ways that didn’t work. His story is often cited as a reminder that success comes from perseverance through failure.
But it’s important to recognise that intelligent failure is not about making mistakes for the sake of it. It’s about learning from those mistakes, refining your approach, and ultimately increasing your chances of success.
The Fear of Failure and Its Consequences
The fear of failure can be paralysing, leading to inaction and stagnation. This fear is often rooted in a misunderstanding of what failure truly means. We assume that failure is a sign of personal inadequacy, a reflection of our worth. But failure is not the enemy—complacency is.
When you fail, you are learning. You are gathering valuable data, testing hypotheses, and gaining experience. Each failure brings you one step closer to success. The real danger lies in never trying at all, in letting fear keep you from reaching your full potential.
Tacit Knowledge: The Hidden Lessons of Failure
Philosopher Michael Polanyi distinguished between two types of knowledge: explicit knowledge, which can be easily communicated and taught, and tacit knowledge, which can only be gained through experience. Explicit knowledge includes facts, formulas, and data that can be memorised and understood intellectually. Tacit knowledge, on the other hand, is much harder to convey. It includes things like intuition, muscle memory, and wisdom gained through real-world practice.
When you fail, you are often gaining tacit knowledge—knowledge that can’t be learned from a book or a lecture, but only from experience. This type of knowledge is crucial for mastering any skill, and it often comes from repeated failures.
Planning to Fail vs Failing to Plan
There’s a significant difference between planning for failure and failing due to a lack of planning. Intelligent failures, as discussed earlier, occur when you’ve done your homework, taken calculated risks, and pursued a meaningful goal. Failing to plan, on the other hand, often leads to unnecessary mistakes that could have been avoided with a bit more foresight.
Creating a Culture of Psychological Safety
Admitting failure is hard. It makes us feel vulnerable, exposed, and often ashamed. But creating a culture where failure is not only accepted but expected is essential for fostering innovation and growth. When people feel safe to admit their mistakes, they are more likely to take risks, share ideas, and collaborate with others.
Psychological safety— the belief that one will not be punished for making mistakes—is crucial in any environment where learning and growth are valued. When people trust that their failures won’t be held against them, they are more willing to push the boundaries and try new things.
The Power of Vulnerability
Being open about your failures requires vulnerability, but it can also lead to deeper connections and greater trust. When you admit your mistakes, you create a space where others feel safe to do the same. In this way, vulnerability fosters collaboration, creativity, and ultimately success.
Trust doesn’t mean blind loyalty, but it does mean giving others the benefit of the doubt, assuming positive intent, and understanding the broader context behind their actions. When we share our failures with others, we invite them to share theirs, creating a more supportive and understanding environment.
Conclusion: Embrace the Journey
We all start somewhere, and we all make mistakes along the way. But it’s through these mistakes that we learn, grow, and ultimately succeed. The journey may be long, and the path may be filled with failures, but each step brings you closer to mastery. So take that first step, embrace failure, and remember that the only true failure is never trying at all.
Failure isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of something new, I started the start of a journey toward growth, grief management and self-improvement. So I don’t shy away from it.
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